Transcription:Frankenstein's Fiancee
(A family is sitting in the den drinking tea and the daughter is talking about her fiancee.) Daughter: Are you guys excited to meet my fiancee, Frank? Mother: I can't wait, sweetie! Father: I'm not ready to see my baby get married. (The doorbell rings and the daughter answers the door. The daughter's fiancee happens to be none other than the monster Frankenstein wearing a yellow shirt and orange plaid pants.) Daughter (Delighted): Frankie! (Frankenstein growls. A dramatic sting plays and the father panics.) Father: Good lord! It's a monster! (The father pulls out his shotgun and shoots Frankenstein in the chest.) Daughter: Dad! Don't shoot; that's my fiancee! (The father walks over and shakes Frankenstein's hand.) Father: Oh, sorry about that. Nice to meet you, Frank. (Frankenstein growls again.) (Cut to the family and Frankenstein eating dinner). Father: So, Frank. What's your line of work? (Frankenstein growls.) Father: What the hell does that mean? Mother: Honey, be nice. (Another dramatic sting plays as Frankenstein gets up from the table.) Father: Honey, watch out! (The father pulls out his shotgun and shoots Frankenstein again. Frankenstein sits down again and growls.) Daughter: Dad! He was just trying to go to the bathroom! Father: Riiiight. (The father sits down in his chair again.) Father: Sorry, Frank. Toss the ball around? (Cut to the father happily tossing a football to Frankenstein who is now wearing a sweater and short khaki pants. Frankenstein misses the football and tries to get it as he runs right into a tree. The resulting impact knocks a beehive out of a branch and onto Frankenstein's crotch in his shorts. The monster starts growling and screaming in pain.) Father: He's going crazy! (The father pulls out his shotgun and shoots Frankenstein again. The daughter runs up to the father.) Daughter: Dad! A beehive fell in his pants! He's already in pain. Father: Oh, man! S-s-s-sorry again there, Frank. That's, uh...That's-that's my bad. (Frankenstein accepts his apology.) (Cut to the father and mother laying in bed at night.) Father: You know, I am really taking a liking to this Frankie guy. (Grunts and groans can be heard in another room. The father quickly gets up.) Father: What the hell is that? (In the daughter's room, the grunts and groans are heard more clearly and the father kicks open the door. He finds that Frankenstein is naked and laying on top of the daughter with her hands and legs wiggling.) Father: You monster! What are you doing to my daughter?! (Frankenstein looks over and the father pulls out his shotgun again and shoots Frankenstein again. The shot knocks the monster off of the bed.) Daughter: Dad! We were having sex! Father: Oh, man! So sorry about that. Terrible misunderstanding. I-I-I-I-I feel awful. Ap-ap-ap-apologies all around. Carry on. (The father closes the door and leaves the room. Cut to the end of the wedding where Frankenstein and her new fiancee leaving in a limo.) Mother: Oh, honey. I'm so proud of you finally coming to terms with our daughter marrying Frankenstein. Father: Franke''stein''?! He's Jewish?! (A dark circle in the shape of a heart closes in on the limo as the father chases the limo while shooting it constantly with his shotgun.) Sketch ends Category:Transcriptions